I’ve always loved being the center of attention. And the more I think about it, the sadder I get because I don’t know why I’m putting myself through business school. I mean, it’s not pre-med or law, but it’s finance, and logistics, and quantitative data, and I could not be less interested. Is this honestly what I want to do…I’m just not so sure anymore.
I know I could never stop business for music. I’m not even that invested in music. I just listen to whatever people recommend, and I usually like it. I like most music. I like to sing. But there’s a difference between what you like, and what you need. And I need security, and that’s business.
If only I had the courage to turn that around. Truthfully, I think I’m just PMS-ing, or going through a quarter-life crisis, or both. It feels awful, though. I don’t want to think I’m wasting my parents’ money, and I don’t want to think I’m wasting my life pursuing something I think is just “practical.”
But it’s not all bad—I know business is a huge industry, and I can manipulate my major into something I love. Movie marketing, business of entertainment, media, and technology. There. Options. Silver linings, whatever.
I hate being young and indecisive. And I especially hate talking to people who are going places, then staring in the mirror and seeing my boring, static self. Insecurities, will you please leave me alone? Or at least stop gripping my mind so tightly, I’m going so insane.